Writing emails

It sounds crazy or maybe insane, but sometimes few of us prefer to write emails to ourselves. Sometimes I found there is a need to share every piece of you. It doesn't mean that you are alone or cloistered. I shared this idea with a friend, my friend was surprised. For my friend this idea solely belongs to psychopaths, those are interested in creating their virtual world. I am not completely agreed with my friend’s perception. That’s true we have people in our surrounding, but there are so many things those are taking place in our lives. We can’t nag them at every moment; everyone is very busy in their lives. Every day we feel something different, we experience something strange. Sometimes we feel irritated, anxious and sometimes we laugh and cry without any reason. There are so many feelings even if we want or not; those are mustering inside us and creating the commotion. After a certain time when you look for solace, you have to give them a way to come out and then writing email is one of the best options that I have ever noticed. In this way, there is no one to judge your feelings or ask you questions about your weird thoughts. I don’t know whether it is right or not, but I know one thing sharing is always good, and it doesn't depend on medium whether it's real or virtual. It is a just way of balancing the things in our lives.

Sometimes I found my address list is so long even though I am not able to choose anyone,

I don’t know how they will react and consider, I don’t want anyone to judge me,

When the things are mine, made for me then how it could be possible for them to understand,

What I can feel and see, no one else can feel, then how could I append them to my mailing list when they have different eye to see,

Sometimes I found several thoughts are rambling, and creating perturbations deep inside,

Even I wish to share, but thought of making someone else life muddled as me, hold me back from doing that,

But same as ocean, for its serenity and purity, it can’t be possible to held the things for long,

There is need to spill out everything even on your shore; no one cares its nature’s law, nothing wrong,

In this busy world, people will hear your story once or maybe twice but after they won’t be available to hear it again and again,

Maybe you will get hurt and don’t find anyone, your emptiness will force to think whether they are right or you are insane,

That is because I choose you, why the address list of mine only belongs to you,

With you there is no fear, no fear of getting wrong or being judged by someone,

My weird thoughts feel homely in your shadow, and get ample of space to do anything in your free sky,

I know randomness is just for a moment, but I feel complete and satisfied being part of this lie,

Sharing incompleteness with you doesn’t make me ashamed of anything,

Because you are just a part of me, or I can say that you are my mirror image,

Even tonight if my thoughts gave you some surprising elements,

Ignore them, everything was momentary,  your help is needed to find real me and to get rid off from this prolong ailment.

Darkness

It is hard sometimes to pick a topic and write. You always need some thoughts or inspiration. Like today, I got this when I was looking outside from the window. I followed the whole transformation phase, ending of the day and after that how the darkness has begun its journey. Commencement of darkness was beautiful, spreaded her wings slowly and in the couple of minutes it covered everything beneath her soul. Then what went wrong, why we are afraid, and that is my question for tonight from the darkness side.

Darkness is asking question,

Why I am so dark, I never wanted that,

But I got it, and there was no reason,

Like you I also have a beautiful heart,

It’s sad, but people don’t care about me,

They are always scared of me,

But I never did anything wrong,

Even I get scared sometimes too,

No one is there; so I chose the way and moved along,

I never had shelter,

People are afraid of keeping me with them,

Even in cold winter night,

I found myself and cloudy sky,

Though I never did complain,

I got the warmness from my teary eyes,

The day always gets all credits,

But what about me,

I gave reason to get back home,

Otherwise, all of us would have ended up alone,

People don’t admire me,

Always consider me as curse,

Never tried to see real me,

Even I am not making anything adverse,

My silence is perfect for everyone,

To hear your voice,

To let the world know what you want

Or maybe to have your choice,

They forgot, sometimes they need me,

My strange attire sometimes brings them close,

Have given them chance to make love,

To consume each other and have another life dose,

In between all this, I don’t have any shot,

Like as always I am lost,

Still waiting for someone,

To accept me as I am,

Along with my good and bad sides,

Who can hold the time for me,

And give me the free back home ride.

With you-Arran

From last two weeks, I don’t know what happened but I was spellbound. My trip to Isle of Arran was something different that I can’t define in words.  There were so many things to learn, things to learn from nature as well as from new people.  Silent nights, working days and awaited evenings, all of them have stolen moments. I believe sometimes those moments want us to think again, about our lives that might have missed somewhere.

As I have said, I was looking everywhere for you,

But I was lost and hypnotized by you and forgot myself too,

At certain times when my strong instincts were overpowering and getting back the sense,

I was ignoring them because I wanted to be with you even I was losing the things that I had to do,

Sometimes I tried to scribble our story in your silence,

Yours empty streets spooked me at some points and had taken the things away,

But I was in love with yours each and every single scary move,

I felt more connected, adamant to get more close to you in my own way,

I knew like you, I have also stolen the moments from your side,

I adorned you in the diary to keep you forever,

So whenever you see the flowing streams, hear their laugh and cry,

You can feel my presence, they might reveal the things that I had purposely left behind,

Sometimes I was not able to comprehend because I didn’t know anything about you,

But I realized now, knowing each other doesn’t matter, important thing is inner feel,

Which I have noticed for me in your surroundings, those things haven’t happened before,

I regained myself and filled with new desires, and now I am sure that my life wants more.  

Far away from any change

It’s Sunday morning, after so many days I have penned something and been missing it. Last few days were good, met a school friend after long time and revisited the old time again. I realized that whatever happens, how far we reached in our lives, our memories are never going to be change. Time changes everything, and  I believe in this philosophy but there is one thing where time can’t make any changes, and that is our memories.

Time has changed still those memories are completely untouched,

Different from our today’s life, completely pure and unplugged,

Holding them in our hands, and turning the pages again,

It seems our tired soul has found a way to revitalize the things,

After a long time, it is going to calm the fire inside by pouring them in the memory's rain,

The way they were written at that time and the way they are today,

Without any conspiracy and selfishness, they are beautiful than anyone have ever thought,

They don’t need any special space or any special blog to keep themselves alive,

They have enough inside and splashing our lives to end the existing drought,

You are innocent as a child and far away from any changes that we have today,

I know you have adorned yourself as per our choices and waiting for us to visit you again and again,

You have given a kind of credence to yourself that we will remain same,

Whenever I will have time, I will come to you, hold your hands and walk on the empty lane.