Is that

Yesterday I got the text from my sister that my Grand mom (Nani) is hospitalized. She is suffering from the temporary blindness and now under observation for the recovery. I felt sad and helpless, I am thousands of miles away even I can’t listen to her. I can just ask others to take care of her. With the god grace, she is recovering now. When I woke up today, I started my day as usual. I did everything same as every day I felt nothing happened. In reality, I know something is going on at another end. People, those are a part of me, are having a hard time. On the other side, I am sitting in my office and working on my results, and hoping everything will be okay soon.
Are that distances make us like this? Do they make us so strong, even the hard times are not able to overcome our lives? Either we are leading towards the stage of apathy. What does exactly it means? Maybe it’s something else, and it’s always not easy to admit anything bad. We always presume the good things are going to happen soon. It’s our fear, and lately, it changes into blind faith. I don’t know what the case is, and even I don’t feel any need to figure it out. I know that time will be doing this for me very soon.
For the moment, I just wish for her fast recovery and see her back at the home.

Our hearts are unbounded, but we are bounded with time,
I feel scared to lose the things that suppose to be mine,

Sometimes we are rigid to admit our feelings,
We prefer to let the faith to find us again,
And we believe to have everything back, nothing to be left in the vain,

Faith and fear, Is that we suppose to bring together,
Either we don’t want to accept anything that we think,
Or we just want to stifle our thoughts to do an individual favor,

Is that we? We are trying to look for the reason to conceal our fear,
But until when, one day we need to admit the way we are,
Distances, reasons, whatever, nothing is beyond the love that I have learned so far.

We Human

Sometimes I feel the urgency to do another Ph.D. in human psychology after completing the current one. I am well aware of Atmospheric Aerosol’s demeanor because I am working on them from a long time. But in the case of human, I still struggle and find myself often in a perturbable condition. It’s surprising we all are completely different though we all have one heart and one brain, made of million either billions of cells.  I often found myself rambling around these thoughts and ended up with something which I never understood. Change in the people’s perception over the course of time, and then the presence of some fluctuation at certain points and later a flat slope, it shows a complicated version of plot and its dependency over time. These elements of human psychology allure me a lot to learn them more precisely as I do for my favorite aerosols.  

How we are integrated?
Do we belong to the three-dimensional space?
Are we still not sure, where we are and where is the place?

Is it genuine to change over the time?
If it’s true then how much, how we are going to define?
If we change too much, we might forget out roots,
What’s still there and what was mine?

Even after everything we decided to change,
Do we have any idea, what could be the appropriate range?

It’s not so easy to frame the human behavior on the plot,
You might feel rejuvenated after the change,
At the same time, you might have lost some important slots,
That’s why I am filled with the chaos, how to optimize them, my dear,
Maybe the optimization causes some loss or addition,
I don’t know, how to deal with this fear.