What it says

It’s been so long, it doesn’t mean that I am no longer writing or sharing. They are integrated deep inside and can’t be ruled out in any condition from the life. I have just realized in last few weeks that how the life gets changed. Nothing is stagnant neither a relation nor faith. They all resemble the flowing water, and you can’t hold them even how much you wish to have them closer. But somehow we all need to find a place for ourselves, to make ourselves happy.

What it says when you are waking up during the odd hours of the night?

Why sometimes it feels there is something which is still not right,

Why you feel the desire’s roots are growing too much, and you want to have more,

But that is all you wish to have, and still, you are not sure,

When you close your eyes to see a dream what you wish to have for tomorrow,

But you are little scared too if tomorrow is nothing like a dream,

Then how you suppose to manage, and for another how you suppose to borrow?

When you keep the pillow beside sometimes in the night, to feel not being alone,

You feel afraid of the outside world, worried about finding the faith again,

You feel convinced that there is no better place for you rather than your home,

Maybe we both don’t know what it says at the end,

But we can have some faith in each other,

Until or unless we decide something else for ourselves, my dear friend.

Stay forever

I couldn’t make it this time but I know there is no other time. No other time to meet you again, no other time to play in that loving shadow. I am sorry for that I was late but it wasn’t done intentionally. If I would have ever known of this cruel reality, I must have tried to make it before. But you also know that how much I loved you and I will love you forever. I still remember our chats Amma (grandma) and I know it will stay forever with me. I came to know that you were remembering me till your last breathe and it was my misfortune that I wasn’t there at that moment. But till my last breathe you will be always there and for that I don’t need any reason or any physical medium to feel your presence. Still when I close my eyes I can feel your love around me, and your concern for my wellness. That can’t be taken away from me even by the death. I love you Amma and my apology for not being there with you.

At last again I want to say sorry. I don’t know if there is another way to express my feelings, but I am sure wherever you are, you must be listening and you will always love me more than anyone.

Stay forever, I know I won’t be able to see you again,

But that doesn’t account and even not important in our case,

Life and death are the part of us; they just belong to the different phase,

Stay forever, I need you even you are not with us any more,

Because you are not here for others, for them you are gone,

For me, you are still here, still with me because your existence is prolong,

Stay forever, I still want to have your warm touch when I feel alone,

Because your presence is able to take away all the pain,

Same as, in a scorching heat you get the pleasure with a drop of rain,

Stay forever, even I didn’t make it this time and I am sorry for that,

But you will always stay in my heart no matter what happens,

And I will always love you maybe more with time,

Because I know you only belong to me and you are mine.

Love you Amma…

Endless

Life is not endless, it has to end one day. But it’s not true for all the cases. If we take an example of the day, it’s true that the day has an end but after that, you have another day. Even the next day is never same as previous, but at least you have some hope. Life delineates the different philosophy. Once it’s gone, it never comes back, but that’s the way life is. Once the life is not with us, we don’t know whether there is a beginning or end. That makes us helpless sometimes, and we don’t know how to win that race against time.

Words are not there today, and I am not finding you anywhere,

I don’t know what happened, but I can only see the void all around,

Helpless, restless, about to lose a race against time,

I don’t know how much I belong to you, and how to define,

I still have a hope to get you back somehow,

Maybe you change your mind, and give me back what I need,

Listen to my heart, it’s saying a new story to you,

Don’t break it, everything can happen once in blue,

I know you have an end, you will end one day,

But give us some more time, maybe not today,

Because we are not prepared for this sudden end,

Listen to me today, and be with me, my dear friend.

 

Pause

From last few months, I am quite busy with the things, and I think I will be busier as time runs towards the end. I like being busy when I can forget everything even myself sometimes. But at the same time, I think I need the pause to hold back the things there for some time. Maybe that small pauses or breaks aid to rejuvenate the parts which we are supposed to be missed out in our lives. Even I am not sure either I can’t suggest for how long the pause should be taken.  Though I am sure, how much pauses we take, either how long they would be, we don’t need to dwell there for a long. We need to leave everything belongs to those pauses to get back our normal lives. If we don’t, it might be possible, we will lose something important from our part. Pauses are the left over part of the time to regain ourselves not to refrain ourselves from the reality.

As I said, I need you and want you to hold the things back for me,

Maybe because of you I can find myself again from the dirt,

Maybe the things get better without any trail and time alert,

But how long and how many times, your prolonged possession can bring something else,

I don’t want to run from the things by keeping you on my side,

Without any do's and don’ts, I want to make a step forward without keeping the things behind,

Let me trust you and you can trust me too, will never let you down,

We need to understand each other, to become the part of each other for some time,

Even I am not able to keep you in a way what we want,

But we can sometimes keep the lines without having the proper rhyme,

Oh, my pause tries to come over in the life but slowly,

I already messed up, and I will be messing up more,

But don’t flush me out because I am standing alone on the shore.